It’s been a couple of weeks since I last updated, as training hit a rough patch.
A few Sundays ago I slept in and set out on a long run of 20 miles. A feeling of lightness filled my spirit as I left my home, I felt positive. A few days earlier I dug our an old pair of Nike Structures (shoes) and they kept my toes from hurting, so I felt optimistic. Well, that was wrong. Making it to my 10mile mark turnaround was relatively smooth, but then I hit a wall. I had nothing left. It was quite warm, but not awful. After 5 hours (I ended up walking quite a bit on the way back) I made it home. Upset, heartbroken, angry, frustrated, dumbfounded, exhausted.
After a few hours, Adam asked, “Do you want to talk about it?” Ugh. Ok. So, he started the discussion with, “How many gels did you take? When did you take them?” I sheepishly responded, “One. Close to the 9 mile mark. That’s all I could convince myself to take.” Naturally he replied, “That’s the problem! You had a huge calorie deficit by the time you had that gel and there was no way to recover.” My response my huge eyes, trying not to cry, still so exhausted. His voice softened, “You won’t get fat on a 20mile run if you eat the required 4-5gels.” Damn. He totally gets me, and is patient, compassionate. My brain knows that I need the nourishment to get through a run of that level, but there’s still that huge part of me that is terrified of consuming that many sugars and carbs and “ruining” my efforts. Now I have to make the decision: do I want to excel on my runs or allow my lifelong struggle with food mess everything up? I’ve made such great progress over the last 10 years with my food intake/restriction, but that nagging voice daily pulling me in different directions can still overpower the work that I’ve done. Before leaving the table that evening, we came up with a plan. We discussed using Skratch hydration mix and GU Roctane during my next long run. This means I don’t have to EAT as much, but still get the nutrition that I need mid-run. I eat so that I can run, that has been my motivation. That is my motivation.
I didn’t get my 20miler in this past weekend (90 degree temps and I don’t agree.), so I moved it to next weekend. Stay tuned….
Happy trails, friends!